Is there ever a time you have everything figured out? When things work just the way you want to? Probably not. I've been struggling a lot lately with feeling inadequate. I think this may be a normal feeling for wives, mothers and nurses (my three main roles in life), but it's something most of us don't like to talk about. Admitting that we can't do it all, can't be all to everyone, and that we can't have everything totally together is hard. I think though, that the good moms, wives, and people in general, are those who can admit that, and deal with that admission in a healthy way.
See, I think my problem lately is that I've been expecting too much of myself, to the point that I constantly feel like a failure, which them leads to an unmotivated and grumpy Brianna. If I didn't have unrealistic expectations of myself, I'd actually come closer to meeting them! Does that make sense? What I mean is that by not thinking that I should be able to do everything and feeling like a loser when I can't, I'll actually come closer to being the person I want to be and accomplishing my goals because I'll feel good!
So how do you stop making unrealistic expectations? How do you change a way of thinking that's so ingrained you don't even realize you are doing it? How can I let go enough to be happy and satisfied in work accomplished, rather than feeling constantly disappointed with what's not done? And how do you do this while at the same time keep two babies out of trouble, fed, happy and clean?
These are my ponderings as of late...
(In case you weren't sure this is Beth Hartger)
ReplyDeleteI've got two things in particular that help me keep things in perspective. One, was a blog that I read talking about this very thing and the author of that blog suggested that as women we feel pressure to be the "proverbs 31 woman". Meaning we do feel like we have to do it all and do it perfectly. Her point was that the description of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 was a description of her whole life... she probably didn't do everything listed in that description every single day of her life. Different times probably had different priorities... If I can find the link I'll send it to you. It's hard, and you have even more stuff on your plate than I do, but God gives rest to the weary. I was about at the end of my rope last night, my prayer before bed was little more than a "God I'm so tired, help me fall asleep and give me enough rest to make it through tomorrow." For the first time in about 2 weeks, my husband didn't snore last night and I got the best sleep i've had in 2 weeks!
Also, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I love an old Amy Grant song called All I Ever Have to Be. My favorite part is this:
"And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find."
Hope some of that helps! Just know that even though the specifics may vary a little, you are not alone in feeling inadequate. I pray for you often and am saying an extra prayer for you now!
Thanks Beth! I really like what you were saying about the Proverbs 31 woman and would love to read the post if you find the link!
ReplyDeleteI bet you understand since I think our personalities are pretty similar, but I don't think I realized how exhausting being a mother can be. It's the non-stop interaction that wears me out. I guess 15 years down the road I'll be praying for more interaction with my girls...
Anyway, thanks for the encouragement! Maybe someday we'll live close enough again that our girls can meet and play!